Do you let your crazy uncle plan Thanksgiving dinner?

Every family has one.

A crazy relative sits at the end of the table, declaring how the world should be if they were in charge.

Everyone in the family knows who they are, the crazy one.

They don't discuss it.

They simply tell each other that they are "that way."

The crazy, loud, opinioned relative sitting at the end of the table.

Are they allowed to bring the main course by the host?

The dessert?

Do they get to plan any games?

Do they get to decide who sits where?

Do they make any real decisions that will affect the outcome of the meal and gathering?

The wise answer should be no, they do not.

Allowing them any hand in the decision-making would make them the official party pooper.

The party pooper.

Every family has one.

Sometimes three...

Fact in point, 1 in 25 people in the U.S. are officially party poopers.

Psychology defines them as sociopaths.

See The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout, PH.D.

They're not serial killers, as depicted in the movies if that's what you're thinking.

No.

The sociopath has many faces.

They are both male and female.

And that face is always turned towards admiring themselves.

They know the difference between right and wrong, but they will do either to achieve what they want.

They see no difference between good and evil.

What is paramount in their lives is what I call the thing that gives them their orgasm.

It doesn't mean sex, but it can undoubtedly be sex.

It can also be power and wealth.

Power over the conversation at the dinner table or at the negotiation table, at lunch, in the car, in the board room, and in the bedroom.

Wealth is stolen out of the community and society or out of your wallet.

Sex is taken from individuals with low self-esteem who believe the physical contact means the other person cares about them, that it is love.

The sociopath cares only for themselves and their orgasm.

That's all they care about.

All they dream about.

They scheme and lie to achieve their goals.

It is why you don't allow the sociopath to have a part in your dinner plans.

They will let you down every time.

Because if it doesn't get them off, they'll lie their way out of it.

But in their own way, you can always count on them to act the same way every time at every event.

They will be the party pooper.

They will spoil your event.

They will spoil your nation.

They will spoil your life.

They will destroy your party.

If you know 100 people, it's a good bet that 4 of them are sociopaths to one degree or another.

Regular sociopaths up to and including megalomaniacs.

We have one in our family who destroyed our lives for a time until we recovered.

That's why I know the intimate realities behind the mask that the sociopath hides behind.

Our nation has a sociopath right now as President.

It's taking a while for some of our other elected leaders, as well as the media, to come to the conclusion that the leader of the free world has a personality disorder.

Just like in my own circle of family and friends, it took a long while before some realized there was a problem.

While others still refuse to acknowledge the problem, it remains a concern today.

Just as in our national discourse, the good people keep holding on to the hope that the evil person will change.

Good people are ingrained with the idea of redemption.

However, redemption works as a practice only if the person who needs redemption wants it.

Sociopaths see redemption as a weakness.

They don't care whether they do good or evil; they'll tell you what you want to hear so you'll get off their backs.

They are incapable, the sociopaths, of having a moral dilemma because they have no morals.

They are extraordinary human beings because they have no empathy whatsoever.

None.

Are you getting the picture of why you don't want them planning your next Thanksgiving dinner?

That crazy relative can have a place at the table, but there are some things you cannot, as a person of goodwill, allow them to do.

You can't have them give the blessing.

They can't give a toast.

You can't have them set the table.

You can't let them have control of the conversation.

You can't let them plan for the future.

You can't let them be President of a Nation.

You have to plan around them yourself.

That's some free advice to the Congress and the Senate.

Take it for what it is worth.

You don't have to know what I know about sociopaths being party poopers.

You're getting a mouthful of first-hand experience right now.

Try not to choke.

The misery will keep on coming until the day you say stop.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby