Wanting love is inborn; giving love must be learned and practiced daily.

Self-interest, hunger, sex, and desire are not love.

Yet, beyond personal desire, we all know that we need love.

We want love, but we are not born with the knowledge of how to get love.

Love is taught.

Since love is taught, it is fraught with the immense problem of who is doing the teaching.

Was your teacher strict?

Tough?

Generous?

Confused?

Distracted?

An addict?

A narcissist?

A sociopath?

A psychopath?

Your first teacher was most likely your parent or a relative.

However, their experience and their syllabus were determined by who taught them.

There are many unqualified teachers of love out here.

It is a remarkable achievement that we have progressed as far as we have as a species.

The bulk of love is passed on and learned at a fundamental vanilla level.

It doesn’t ask much, it doesn’t give much, it doesn’t comfort, it doesn’t annoy.

Just be kind = vanilla love

It exists this vanilla love.

A loose definition and application.

But even the most basic of love has to be practiced.

If love is not practiced in our daily lives, it loses its flavor.

It loses its purpose.

Without practice, love turns into indifference.

Indifference = sour pickle

It blooms into paranoia.

It descends into fear.

Practice love by first loving yourself.

Forgiving yourself so you can forgive.

True love, love that is higher than self-interest, the kind of love that wears down mountains, crosses oceans, opens the clenched fist of hate, is in all of us to exercise.

However, to reach that level of love requires a lot of exercise of our compassion muscles.

We have to stop hating ourselves.

Get on the treadmill of love.

And care for each other.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby