At The Movies

Yesterday, going to the movies became a net negative.

Yesterday, I went with my adult son and daughter to see Superman.

This is not a review of the movie.

It's a blow-by-blow, reality-based tour of the movie-going experience in 2025, in an American commercial movie theater.

What the hell, man?

It wasn't good.

This is not a one-time experience.

No.

It's been an ongoing developing story of why the general public is not attending theaters.

I've watched the decline over the past 15 years.

There is no single reason but a series of real issues primarily created by studio marketing and the people who attend.

Simply… the trailers stink, and the audience has no clue on how to behave in public.

This isn't just an old man rant.

My 30-something children, independently of me, brought up the whole disaster in the car on the way home.

Do you all remember…

Back in time, long ago, in a theater multiplex far, far away…

If the film turned out to be mediocre or less, the best part of the movie-going experience was seeing the trailers.

Now, the trailers are the worst part of the experience.

The worst you executives at film distribution.

They suck!

They tell the whole story.

There is no reason then to see the movie now.

They are marketed to exploit the lowest common denominator of the audience.

The ignorant.

Are toddlers the primary audience for all these films?

People who didn't get their preschool certificate?

Have to be led by the nose so they can be pickpocketed?

Just who watches these trailers and thinks, God almighty, I have to get to the theater to see that?

There's nothing like a remake of a remake where we swap out what was great about the past film and substitute lameness.

The lameness is what's going to make the film great.

Making our cultural icons lame is comedy.

It's funny... right?

The trailers are like a magician who performs a trick, explains how he did it, and then expects you to come back next week and pay to see the same trick again.

That's dumb.

It's no wonder there has been a consistent decline in box-office returns.

Then the audience.

Everyone is glued to their phones, including ignoring turning them off during the film, and is still glued to their social media screens.

You know, I like strawberry shakes, but I don't have a straw in my mouth every waking moment of the day.

Then the rocking and kicking.

Like toddlers in their seats, grown adults who can't keep their feet still kick the back of the chair in front of them.

Not just one person.

But a whole audience was kicking the chair in front of them.

No parent told these 20 to 30-year-olds to sit still in their entire lifetime so far?

You could see them all trembling in their seats.

What's that all about?

The audience knocks you in the back of the head as they pass by to their seats.

The stepping on your toes as they go to their seats.

Oh…

And the side issues of the cost of food and beverages being more than the ticket to the movie.

The cost of parking.

Yet…

Yet, the paramount issue that struck me to my heart…

The cost to humanity.

The cost to the soul.

The casual laughing at the bad guy and his behavior.

The laughing at casual torture.

Casual murder.

The laughing at casual evil.

Laughing at the wrong moment.

The entirely inappropriate laughter reveals the emptiness of the spirit.

My family all agreed before we even began to decompress from the experience of being at the movies.

It was our last time at the movie theater.

Society has left behind the golden halls of entertainment.

We are now all relegated to our own screens and sound systems at home.

There is still hope that the bar can be raised.

South Park got James Cameron to raise the bar once before.

The Cameron 'Bat-Signal' needs to sweep the skies once more.

We all can do better.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Time

Not enough.

Too much when you are young.

Too little when you have built regret.

What’s a good use of time?

Being busy.

Being busy with what?

That’s the question all of our lives ask.

What are we doing here?

It’s easier to see what others are doing with their time.

It’s easy to critique.

My time spent is better than your time spent.

Spending time is the illusion that time is a commodity.

A currency.

Something that can be earned.

Something borrowed.

Something spent.

I take time away from the unimportant to spend on what I want more of.

I want more time.

Time to relax.

To sleep.

To dream.

Time to run.

To sing.

To laugh.

Time to get what I don’t have.

Love.

Time.

Not enough.

Too much when you are young.

Too little when you’re trapped inside your regret.

Time to run.

Time to sing.

Time to laugh.

Not enough.

Peace.

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Out of Control

Why haven't you written as much lately?

My writing has slowed due to drawing a graphic novel entitled Highway.

Since there is only one of me, I've been concentrating on that to get it done as soon as possible.

One holiday after another, a birthday party, an urgent sizzle reel, and a broken-down car all hamper the graphic novels' advancement.

Just like you, we can't control everything in our lives.

Life gets in the way of our plans.

How far does your control extend?

What are the boundaries of what you believe you are in control of?

A person should know their limits.

Although some of us appear to ignore them.

Like, I can't control my family.

My 30-something children stopped listening to me when they realized I was human like them.

My wife doesn't listen to me.

But that's the secret to a good marriage.

Don't listen too closely if you want to stay married.

My friends sort of listen to me while I'm with them, but as soon as I leave, I know they are doing what they want to do.

As for strangers…

I'm asked at Disneyland a lot where the restrooms are…

That's because I wear all black and a sports jacket, which makes me look like security.

How far does your control extend?

I don't even listen to myself.

I tell myself I'm going to do this or that, and I generally do, but not on the schedule I thought I would.

Some of us just don't realize we control nothing.

We've built up elaborate stories telling ourselves we are in control and that everyone should think and behave just like us.

Why?

Because we're right and they're wrong.

Fascinating, isn't it?

They believe they are right and you are wrong.

Yet the history of truth is on our side.

When the false curtain of control is lifted, time reveals the truth.

Our beliefs form the foundation of a compassionate and loving human society.

Like when we believe that racism is wrong.

When we believe that fascism is wrong.

When we believe that power for the sake of power is wrong.

We believe in justice.

We believe in freedom.

We believe in the brotherhood of mankind.

These things, these truths, are in our control.

We can exercise these truths, take control, or we can let them go.

I hear my wife calling me…

Love and peace to you.

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

We Are Not Afraid

“We are not afraid” is the best lyrics to the song “We Shall Overcome.

Dr. Martin Luther King added those lyrics.

Living in fear is no way to live.

The only people who want you to live in fear are bullies.

That’s how they keep their psychological power over you.

What might be?

Always what might be and not what it is.

The opposition to fear and hate did not go away on November 5th.

You and I are here.

The truth…

The truth is on our side.

History is on our side.

Reality is on our side.

Fear has always concocted bizarre fantasies to keep people afraid.

“There be monsters here” was written on the edge of maps to keep people from wandering away from the control of kings.

Freedom from predetermination created by the will of a self-appointed monarchy…

That’s what America is.

Again, there have always been people who prefer to be taken care of. Only half of us prefer living free of fear.

That’s the two threads of the fabric of humanity.

It has always been up to the adults in the world to help those who can only see darkness.

How?

By holding up the truth of love.

It’s a difficult light for many of our brothers and sisters to see.

It hurts their eyes staring into the truth.

Love is not understood, or we wouldn’t have to keep fighting the good fight.

In a world of limited resources, the natural inclination is not to share.

But it ain’t the 8th Century anymore.

We live in a land of abundance.

But we still have that monster on the back of too many telling them not to share.

Not to trust.

Keep to yourself.

Mind your business.

Welfare.

Love tells us our business is the welfare of our fellow man.

It’s a heavy lift.

I know this.

You know this.

But we are not afraid.

The foundation of this nation is based upon the principle that all people are created equal.

Many Americans have struggled to believe in the concept of equality.

They are trapped in a vicious cycle of hate created by the bullies who have their ears and hearts.

We all just lived through a plague that took the lives of millions.

We all just lived through an economy that collapsed.

Somehow...

We all didn’t all realize that we had come through it, and the world got better.

Some see the world as half-empty.

Some see the world half full.

We who see the world full of light are now obliged to reach back and let that light shine into the dark places.

Let us reach out and touch the hearts and minds of our fellow Americans and let them see there is a better way to live than in fear.

Demonstrating we are not afraid, this light will kindle curiosity.

Curiosity has always broken the chains of fear.

What if.

What if my life could be better?

What if I could live free?

We are not afraid.

Peace

Daniel J. Frey aka Toby

Fear of Freedom

A great number of our decisions are not really our own. They are suggested to us from the outside; we have succeeded in persuading ourselves that it is we who have made the decision, whereas we have actually conformed with expectations of others, driven by the fear of isolation and by more direct threats to our life, freedom, and comfort.”

– Erich Fromm, Escape From Freedom

Freedom is a burden to some folks.

Freedom means participation.

Participation means doing the work of freedom.

Freedom is hard work.

Many want the reward but are too busy with themselves to cultivate freedom.

Those who fear freedom often go by another name.

The Silent Majority.

Have you wondered why there have been no voices condemning the hate that is propagated by Trump and his associates?

The conservative voices that used to tell the anarchists to stay at the back of the room and not talk.

That sound of silence is manifested by those who also erected a neon god.

That neon god tells them their fear is justified.

That neon god feeds their bias, which perpetuates the hate, that grows the paranoia that others are responsible for the poor life they have.

That neon god wants to be the next president.

Again.

He promises a narrow definition of freedom.

Only to those who worship at his feet, telling him he is a man of consequence.

There are many kinds of people of consequence.

It is an absurd ego that says there is only one path to greatness.

Freedom.

Freedom is a burden.

Freedom, it turns out, is not free.

You can’t expect strawberries if you never plant them.

You can’t expect freedom if you don’t speak up.

How can I speak up?

Vote.

Freedom’s ally is the act of voting.

Silence is not golden.

That’s a lie.

Silence is the cruel dictator who silences the voices of freedom.

Silences them one by one till there is none.

Freedom needs you.

Let freedom ring.

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Meeting Disney

Dreams can come true.

But, almost always in unexpected ways.

As far back as I can remember, through my broken memory, I have been an artist.

Drawing, drawing, drawing.

As a child, my grandfather gave me shelf-paper to draw on.

I would draw the characters I loved from Saturday morning TV and hang these drawings on my bedroom wall.

Each Sunday evening in the 1960s, there were two TV shows on back-to-back in Cleveland, Ohio, on good old Channel 3, NBC.

First, there was Lassie.

The second is The Wonderful World of Color, hosted by Walt Disney.

As a child, I dreamed of working for Walt.

I'm wondering why it was a driving force to make that happen.

Time.

Time would take me on a journey to be the best artist I could be.

After getting married, having two children, and becoming a stay-at-home dad, I returned to school and earned my degree in art and physics.

Fate.

I came so close, but fate would wash away my lifelong dream.

Other people made decisions that led to the end of 2D animation at Disney, leaving many artists out in the cold.

My dream was shattered.

A lot of crying in the shower.

Eventually, I pieced together the idea of pursuing a career in the entertainment industry, specifically in Hollywood.

It was there that I met an actor, a part-time world-class magician named Steve Valentine.

We became friends, worked together, ate together, laughed, and cried.

Steve would have get-togethers with many of the people he came into contact with.

At one early get-together I attended, I was standing and talking with two older gentlemen.

We talked about this and that, and I asked What do you do?

They both said they were musicians.

"You either love us or hate us."

I said What have you composed?

Richard said, "It's a Small World."

What?

Did you say Small World?

"You either love us or hate us."

I laughed and said Are you crazy?

Really!

You are loved!

You are loved!

You are Gods of music, I told them.

The two gentlemen were Richard and Robert Sherman.

They composed all the music we associate with Disney.

Chim Chim Cher-ee, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Feed the Birds, Heffalumps and Woozles, I Wanna Be Like You, Jolly Holiday, Let's Go Fly A Kite, Little Black Rain Cloud, The Parent Trap, The Rain Rain Rain Came Down Down Down, A Spoonful of Sugar, Step In Time, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, There's A Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow, The Tiki Tiki Tiki Room, Winnie the Pooh, just to name the tip of the iceberg of their music.

This meeting wasn't just once or twice, but over many years; we would stand and sit together at Steve's parties, share stories with each other, and eat cake.

We sat down and ate cake together.

Laughing.

Today...

Today, as I walked down Main Street at Disneyland...

I stopped by their window dedicated to the Sherman Brothers at the Music Shop.

I thought about my dream of working for Disney…

Tears came down...

I shook the hands that shook the hand of Walt.

I looked into the eyes that looked at Walt.

I laughed and ate cake with the brothers, who laughed and ate cake with Walt.

I was struck…

The universe...

The universe has a strange way of making dreams come true.

Peace.

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Learning Love

Wanting love is inborn; giving love must be learned and practiced daily.

Self-interest, hunger, sex, and desire are not love.

Yet, beyond personal desire, we all know that we need love.

We want love, but we are not born with the knowledge of how to get love.

Love is taught.

Since love is taught, it is fraught with the immense problem of who is doing the teaching.

Was your teacher strict?

Tough?

Generous?

Confused?

Distracted?

An addict?

A narcissist?

A sociopath?

A psychopath?

Your first teacher was most likely your parent or a relative.

However, their experience and their syllabus were determined by who taught them.

There are many unqualified teachers of love out here.

It is a remarkable achievement that we have progressed as far as we have as a species.

The bulk of love is passed on and learned at a fundamental vanilla level.

It doesn’t ask much, it doesn’t give much, it doesn’t comfort, it doesn’t annoy.

Just be kind = vanilla love

It exists this vanilla love.

A loose definition and application.

But even the most basic of love has to be practiced.

If love is not practiced in our daily lives, it loses its flavor.

It loses its purpose.

Without practice, love turns into indifference.

Indifference = sour pickle

It blooms into paranoia.

It descends into fear.

Practice love by first loving yourself.

Forgiving yourself so you can forgive.

True love, love that is higher than self-interest, the kind of love that wears down mountains, crosses oceans, opens the clenched fist of hate, is in all of us to exercise.

However, to reach that level of love requires a lot of exercise of our compassion muscles.

We have to stop hating ourselves.

Get on the treadmill of love.

And care for each other.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Compassion

The world has never valued kindness.

Kindness in this world has always been perceived as a sign of weakness.

To be kind is stupid.

Ignorant.

You care for your own first.

Blood is thicker than the welfare of the stranger.

If you don't know, I'm an empath.

I was diagnosed late in life after years of suffering at the hands and words of everyone around me.

Their anger, their hate, their ignorance, their prejudice, their racism, their bias wore me down to the breaking point.

It broke me.

What kept me from taking my life?

Love.

Compassion.

Caring.

A simple act that cost the person who saved my life absolutely nothing.

But what it did was allow me to be here today talking to you about it.

There is redemption.

There is hope.

There is reconciliation with those who deserve it.

I'm not here to say that those who commit egregious acts upon you are to be forgiven and forgotten.

No.

Never.

I'm here to say that you need to forgive yourself first and foremost so that you can heal.

You're not responsible for their evil.

That's why you forgive yourself first.

Not the criminal mind that acted against you.

Hurt you.

Never forget.

Never forget the cruelty.

The heartless acts of violence and selfishness meant to hurt, to punish, to destroy you.

Compassion is about a standard of morality.

Compassion does not need a religion.

Compassion does not need a doctrine.

Compassion is the act that love tells us to do.

Compassion is stronger than hate.

Stronger than anger.

Stronger than fear.

It can heal the deepest wound.

It can bridge the distance between minds.

It can accomplish the impossible, even in the hands of the smallest, most overlooked person.

Compassion.

Compassion resonates through the centuries.

The love that men and women once shared is why we are here today.

They fought the good fight.

They stood up to the intolerant.

They ignored the impossible and made it possible.

Compassion is defined as weakness by evil.

You will learn that those who fear a thing call it out as weakness.

Evil fears compassion.

Just as the child who is afraid of the dark calls out, telling the darkness they are not scared of it…

BOO!

They are.

I have learned that my empathy is a two-edged knife.

It cuts to the truth, but it also cuts me.

It's hard every day to feel the pain all around me.

It can bring me down.

Yet, it can spur me on, too.

To find a way to lift every voice.

The importance of just one life.

To push for that day when hate is seen for what it is.

Weak.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Stop Talking

Observation…

Why is it that our conservative brothers and sisters feel the need to tell us who they are constantly?

Telling us even if we already know…

Conservatives can't stop telling us...

They love America.

They are Christian.

They are heterosexual.

They are pro-second Amendment.

They are pro-life.

They are pro-billionaire.

They are pro-Putin.

They are pro-MAGA.

They are pro-Trump.

They are anti-immigrant.

They are anti-Islamic.

They are anti-brown people.

They are anti-gay.

They are anti-green.

They are anti-science

They are anti-free speech.

They are anti-Democrat.

Conservatives.

I grew up in and around a very conservative, far-right Christian family and friends, and I have first-hand experience being told over and over again, as if I'm an idiot, their ideology.

Their political beliefs.

As if I'm an idiot who can't remember you don't like to drive in bad neighborhoods, White racist code for the black neighborhoods.

You don't like to send your kids to schools that aren't White.

You don't like living next to people who don't attend your church.

Over and over and over again.

I'm tired of it.

This is a rant!

There are only so many times I can hear their bullshit in 63 years of living on this planet that Jesus loves me and died for my sins.

I get it!

I understand the story.

Please, please, please!

I don't need it repeated to me over and over as if I have no long-term memory.

I saw Old Yeller once.

Once!

I don't need to see it ever again.

Ever!

I get it.

I understand that you don't like the changes you see in the world.

I understand giving anyone the ability to make a decision for you who is not a White male land owner is an abomination sent from Satan.

I understand you don't like to share.

You don't see, you don't like to share.

But I see you don't like to share anything.

You want everyone to know how important you are.

How you are better than everyone else?

I know you think that it's true.

Believe me, I know you think you are granted a special dispensation to rule the world because you're White.

I can hear you.

I can hear you!

I can hear you!

Stop talking.

Listen…

Listen to what you sound like?

Listen to the venom.

Listen to the hate.

Listen to the driver in your life called anger.

Consider…

Instead of talking to me, start talking to yourself.

Start telling yourself you can be loved.

Start telling yourself you can be forgiven.

Start letting yourself just be.

Just be.

Let it go.

And then…

Come join us where the world is full of joy.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Changes

Since the beginning, humanity has used every ounce of strength in its imagination in wanting to believe that change doesn’t happen.

Cave paintings, scrolls, religion, books, plays, philosophy, photography, film, radio, TV, politics, and war all have espoused a belief that change shouldn’t and can’t happen.

Big problem, though…

The fundamental property of this universe we all live in is change.

Everything from galaxies to microbes all change.

Evolve.

Die.

Born.

So, anyone or anything trying to stop change from happening is on the losing side of the universe.

Not in touch with reality.

Trying to stop change from happening you just can’t win.

It’s called impossible.

Now, understandably, change is not always welcome.

None of us want to get old.

None of us want to lose the people, the things we love.

But their all going to change.

It’s human not to want things to change.

It’s fundamental to the origins of humanity to want things to be the same.

Repeatable.

Established.

Regular.

Predictable.

That way, we all can make plans and not have them ruined by a rainstorm stopping our picnic.

But… shit happens.

So, if you think about it, and it’s obvious not many people do, why do we invest our time, our money, our blood, sweat, and tears into ideas that try to prevent change?

Fear.

Fear is the spider at the center of the web.

Change represents unpredictable outcomes.

What if people are free?

What if people can marry who they want?

What if people can be who they are?

What if people want to be equal?

What if people want to be loved?

All these and more represent fear to a community and the individuals who do not want the rain to cancel their picnic.

Yeah, so it was okay to free black people from slavery as long as no one was inconvenienced.

It was all right to give women the right to vote because most women couldn’t be bothered.

It was fair to desegregate schools and communities because we weren’t going to fund those schools and communities after.

My point is that change, for better or worse, will continue to happen, but not as expected.

With change, there will always be outcomes that are not predictable.

That’s what change is.

That’s why I’m trying to get the attention of my conservative brothers and sisters and help them put into perspective their fear of change.

When gays got the right to marry, did frogs rain out of the sky?

When blacks got to vote, there were no more white elected officials, right?

When women entered the workforce, no man was ever hired again, correct?

No, none of those things happened.

Life went on.

When change happens, will things be different?

Yes, they will be different.

And that’s the beauty of change.

Where once there was a dead, dry seed, once planted, from that seed grows a tree under which the children and the children’s children of the planter will live, love, and know peace.

Life is a circle always turning.

Change is gonna come…

Peace

Daniel J. Frey aka Toby

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Wokeism.

Bad side of town.

Freaks of nature.

Infecting our Democracy.

New York values.

Our country.

Our God.

Coincidence.

Poisoning the blood of our country.

Make America great again.

Take our country back.

These and more are what is being said out loud in Conservative America.

Have you asked yourself, does it matter?

What does it mean?

What does it mean?

It means that the idea put forth by our founding fathers that America was created for White, male protestants who owned the land they took, and it was this Manifest Destiny that guaranteed that from sea to shining sea, the White man would always and forever be in control and dominate was established by their White Christian God… forever…

The concept of White Manifest Destiny remains prevalent today.

There is a group of our fellow Americans who both believe in the sanctity of their religion, having a metaphysical control on their lives, the lives of the non-believer, and the nation as a whole, as well as the real expression that Jesus Christ established this sanctity that White males are in charge no others need apply.

Any lapse of control is a sin.

These expressions are code to the true believer who is willing to fight for their Whiteness as ordained and established by their White Christian God.

It doesn’t matter if Donald Trump is scum.

They could care less.

He could be the worst human on the planet, but he has two things going for him you don’t see.

One, he’s a White land-owning male.

Two, he’s fighting for White America to re-establish a White-male patriarchy.

He can actually do anything, have sex with goats; none of it matters to these Maga supporters because he’s ordained by the White Christian God to save the White race.

Do you hear what I hear?

The media really ignores this point.

History.

I am constantly reminded of South Africa.

The White peoples of Europe, specifically England, discovered South Africa and declared it White.

Declared South Africa White?

Think about how screwed up inside and out you have to be to be in such a mindset whereby you deny reality that much.

The British were White and in control.

But, on the horizon, their hold on the country was going to slip out of their hands.

The White British population knew it was coming to the end of their lease.

However, that didn’t stop them from descending into a brutal police state.

White Apartheid.

It got far worse for non-whites as the day approached as the White demographic minority grabbed and killed to keep control.

The U.S.A. is slipping down the same slope.

That hardcore group of conservative Americans is not fighting for a political party.

Are you kidding me?

They are fighting for what they believe is their White race.

They will not go away without a fight.

Words are a gateway drug to actions.

When somebody tells you what they believe, you better damn well believe them.

So listen up!

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

To See Too Much

Imagine seeing germs.

Imagine being able to see the germs on the people around you.

Imagine those germs as the untruths, the myths, the self-deceptions, the stories, the lies — both big and small — that people tell each other and themselves every day.

That is what it's like to be an INFJ empath like me.

For the first 55 years of my life, I suffered under the delusion that everyone was like me.

I couldn't fathom why people were so...

So inhuman and inhumane to others and themselves.

The casual untruths, the blatant lies, why did it only seem to affect me and not everyone else?

I had no idea that my psyche was missing a fourth wall.

That fourth wall that the 97% of humanity has and I don't.

That fourth wall that keeps them disconnected from life.

From feeling.

This fourth wall allows them to act independently without regard to how their actions affect others.

This fourth wall, which I didn't have, brought me to the point of screaming, "Let me out!"

After 55 years of taking on the sins of the world, I had painted myself into an actual black pit of darkness.

I saw no relief for the world or myself.

I couldn't take it anymore.

The suffering, the pain, the hypocrisy, the betrayal, the lies, the anger, the hatred, the anger everywhere.

Like a dark black rain, it poured every day non-stop.

A ghost kept screaming in my ear I was useless.

Unloved.

I needed to end it.

As the day approached, a fairy light appeared in my dark oubliette and asked me to believe in love one last time…

If you know an INFJ empath, you know, even in the end, I couldn't refuse to listen.

I found out that empaths do exist.

It's not a fairytale.

I found out it wasn't science fiction as I had thought it was.

I discovered that all the lies I saw were real.

People, all people everywhere, casually lie to each other every moment of each day.

My depression was caused by real-life circumstances, like losing my job, dreams, family, and love.

Those were real; any normal person would become as depressed as I was.

However, being an empath made it incomparably worse than for a normal person.

Who doesn't feel.

I couldn't separate other's emotions from my own.

I fell into an empathic spiral of doom.

I also discovered that I needed to establish healthy boundaries in my psychology to regulate the flow of pain in this world.

I learned that everyone needs to have a mental health check-up at least once a year.

Even the ones who don't feel especially.

You probably don't realize how screwed up you are and how many people know you're screwed up but won't tell you because they think that's the way you are an asshole.

Now, I'm 63.

Now, I have built back love and restored hope.

I still see too much.

I feel too much.

Being an empath is not a blessing unless you feel seeing everyones darkness is a happy thing.

But I'm here to say to fellow empaths it can be managed.

I learned it late in life.

But I learned.

Peace

Daniel J. Frey aka Toby

Shoes

When you walk in another's shoes…

You will gain a deeper understanding of that person's life.

Been told that ever since I can remember.

But what happens when you try on another person's shoes and find out they fit?

What happens to that story you told yourself about your place in society?

What happens to that ego you have believing in your own entitlement?

What happens when the shoes fit?

Somehow, since before the American Revolution, the People convinced themselves that they were exceptional.

Disregarding the French, who had already overthrown their Aristocracy, Americans told themselves a story that they were first.

They were the first to stand for liberty, for freedom.

But they weren't the first, no far from it.

They weren't the first White people who carved out for themselves a special place in the hierarchy of the universe.

American Exceptionalism is a unique kind of myth.

There are many kinds of myths that we encounter every day.

A universal myth that cuts across all cultures, ethnicities, races, and religions is that my myth is the only true myth and all the rest drool.

American exceptionalism is everywhere.

You can't see the forest for the exceptional trees.

It's a human thing.

Humans convince themselves of a lot of nonsense.

It's what keeps us from all having nice things.

What happens when the shoes fit?

When we find out the person we thought was foreign to us is just like us.

What do we tell ourselves?

What excuses do we narrate to ourselves, still believing we are different?

Those people don't feel pain; that's why they don't need health care.

Those folks don't know how to cut their lawn, so take away their property.

They buy stupid things; don't give them a bank loan.

These people are animals; they don't deserve justice.

It's all bullshit.

People and I'm telling it to you straight because I've been raised with a lot of White racist people, they tell each other whoppers every time they are together how bad everyone else is.

They are never the problem.

White racist Americans see themselves as the solution.

White people in America have an exceptional problem imagining being in another person's shoes.

Why this self-imposed ignorance?

Why the hate?

It's fear.

Fear of losing exceptionalism.

It is, quite literally, the fear of standing in line with everyone else and not being able to cut to the front of the line.

A fear that someone will catch on to all the exceptionalism bullshit and force you to the back of the line.

First come, first served.

No cuts.

What happens when the shoes fit?

When that day comes, what rejoicing there shall be.

When young and old embrace the fact that none of us are getting off the earth alive.

When we understand, we realize that we all bleed.

We bleed for the sake of love.

To love and be loved.

We bleed for respect.

We bleed for freedom.

For justice.

Take a look at your shoes.

Peace

Daniel J. Frey aka Toby

The Rain Is Here

All around us, the rain is falling.

Since Dylan put it into lyrics, by the way, that was 1964, the American public has been at odds with learning how to swim versus sinking like a stone.

It appears most of us ignored that piece of wisdom.

What I'm talking about is leaving ignorance behind and learning we can do right.

The rain falls…

The rain falls, and what it's doing is revealing Truth.

In the 20th Century, the rain fell, revealing fascism.

The rain fell, and segregation was revealed.

The rain fell, and we discovered the poor were in need.

We discovered that women had rights.

The rainwater rose, and White nationalism was thrown into the spotlight.

If, by the 1980s, you didn't understand you needed to learn to swim, you were sinking.

Why?

The rain kept falling.

The rain washed away our delusion that authority figures and our leaders always told the Truth.

The rain fell.

The rain fell, revealing a rainbow of gentle souls wanting to live their lives without fear.

It revealed that religious leadership preyed upon its followers' hearts, minds, and bodies, taking their innocence.

The 21st Century has arrived, and the weather forecast suggests a storm is on the way.

The rain fell.

They're hiding in plain sight; our social servants charged with protecting us instead abused us.

The rain fell.

No justice, no peace.

No justice, no peace.

The rain fell, washing away the delusion that justice was applied fairly and evenly in America.

You are gunned down in the streets, the schools, the churches of the U.S.A., and a majority are not moved to do anything about it.

We rediscovered that some people believed themselves more equal than others.

The rain falls.

It will continue to fall.

At the same time...

Love rises.

Because love applied will never give in.

Love applied will open the eyes of the self-ignorant.

Love applied will openly ask, will you change and join us in a great community?

Or will you prefer to sink like a stone?

Wish you love.

Peace

Daniel J. Frey aka Toby

We Help

What are you doing with your life?

Are you helping or causing problems?

You help.

A person is coming through the door, and you hold it open for them.

That man needs a meal you feed him.

That girl needs a new school book; you get it for her.

You help.

That woman is grieving; you sit and listen.

That young man needs a job; you hire them.

The old man at the store is lonely; you say hello.

You help.

If you're not helping, you're hurting.

If you're not lifting up, you're putting down.

If you're not caring, you're evil.

If you're not doing your best, it's a lifeless existence.

Life is about growing out of your comfortable shell and caring for those around you.

What does it take to make the blind see?

What does it take to make the deaf hear?

What does it take to make the heartless love?

The truth?

The truth means nothing to the selfish.

There is nothing any of us alone can do to make the stubborn, self-righteous, selfish person join the human race.

Nothing.

What we can do is join with the living, move forward to that bright community of love, and just in case…

We can keep that door open to freedom from fear.

Why?

Because history has shown that someday, in some way, the fearful, selfish person will open their minds and join us.

Until then…

We press forward.

We open doors.

We expand liberty, freedom, and justice for all.

We help.

Not just for those we love.

But also, more importantly, for those we don't know.

Love has no limit.

The only limit that can be put on love is in our hearts and minds.

Cut loose, be free, and see what is possible when you pursue Truth.

Peace

Daniel J. Frey aka Toby

Last Thing

Feeding yourself.

Buying that new pair of shoes.

Ordering online.

We'll do that.

Flipping someone off.

Talking behind a friend's back.

Getting high.

We'll do that.

Not stopping hate.

Not comforting the lost.

Not smiling.

We'll do that.

We will do many things, too numerous to count, in our lives.

And we will do them gladly.

Not out of a sense of duty but of pride.

What is the last thing you would never do?

Is it love?

The last thing too many won't do is to love ourselves and the world.

Why?

It's too hard for too many of us.

We don't know where to begin, so we never start.

Too many of us lack the foundations of love.

We don't love ourselves.

If we don't love ourselves, then loving others, including strangers, represents a danger to our existence.

If we don't love ourselves, we are handicapped, unable, and unwilling to reach out and restore hope.

Not just to be sympathetic but to attain the highest human ability: Empathy.

If we don't love ourselves, we are doomed to be consumed by our own desires, focusing inward at the expense of all life around us.

What is the last thing you would do?

Love to be effective must be exercised.

Love is not something to keep locked away.

If love is locked away only for ourselves, then it is a wasted expression.

Love to become real, to grow, to mature must live in the light of life and grow.

What do you represent?

Selfish desire or giving love?

What is the last thing you would do?

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

The Trouble With Truth

Truth is not widely accepted.

Truth is inconvenient.

Truth will set you free only if you want it to.

Humans have told themselves stories in place of the truth since the invention of speech.

Their stories, myths, and beliefs all seem more appealing and right and are easier to accept than the truth.

It's perfectly understandable; it's perfectly human that we prefer our stories over the truth.

Our stories feed our prejudice.

Our stories feed our selfishness.

Our stories feed our entitlements.

If we had to face and accept the truth, the consequence would be responsibility.

What would we be responsible for?

The truth reveals that we are responsible for justice.

For equality.

For freedom.

For peace.

For the planet.

For each other.

The truth reveals what that responsibility wants us to do.

We can eliminate poverty.

We can feed the hungry.

We can care for the sick.

We can live in a clean world.

We can control guns.

We can make the world and everyone living their lives fuller, richer, and free from fear.

That's if we want to.

That's if we want to let go of the stories we tell each other.

The stories that blame others.

The stories that say our deities will sort our problems out for us.

The stories that make us deaf, blind, and dumb to the suffering and despair in our world.

Our world has never been in a state of balance.

The world teeters between the past and the future.

Always believing the past will come alive and save the present.

Our stories find their origins in our past.

A past dictated by hate, prejudice, racism, and bigotry.

The future is yet to be written.

Love can see us through, but love alone won't get us over the mountain of ugly lies we prefer to believe in.

If love alone could have overcome our stories, the human race would not continually find itself on this carousel of doom it likes to ride.

It wouldn't keep worshiping fallen gods of hate.

What will break humanity from chasing its own tail of self-deception?

History, yes, history demonstrates it takes just one person standing against the darkness and saying no more forever.

Are you the hope the world is looking for?

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

What is Love

You tell me to love, why?

Love never tells you to do anything… it expects you to.

I love my family; that's enough.

Love expects you to love your family, your neighbor's family, and your neighbor's neighbor's family.

Why do I have to love them?

You don't have to do anything.

It's all up to you what kind of a day, a week, a year, or a lifetime you want to spend your time in.

Our actions shape our lives.

When we love our neighbor, we open a door that lets the fresh air of perspective into our lives.

Walk in another's shoes.

If we only love ourselves, we shut the door to the world.

The air of truth can't get to us; we recycle our own thoughts over and over and over again.

We twist reality and bend it till we create a monster.

A selfish monster that tells us only what we want to hear, what we want to know, what we want to see.

No more rainbows.

Only a dusty, dank darkness cocooned in a web of self-delusion.

What is love?

We lie to ourselves, and we believe our own lies.

So I love other people, but they don't love me back.

Love doesn't expect a dividend.

Love is not a business transaction.

Love gives; it doesn't take.

That's how you can measure the quality of love.

Love doesn't wait.

Love is now.

Love doesn't keep 90% of the profit and gives the remainder to those in need.

Love doesn't just show up once a week.

Love doesn't arrive on one day a year.

Love is constant.

Love waits.

Love listens.

Love moves.

Love stands for justice.

Love fights for freedom.

Love means honor.

What is love?

Love is the force that binds all people together of goodwill.

Love will take us to the stars; love will lift the forgotten out of misery.

Love is not an easy partner.

Love will always ask for more, never less.

Love never rests.

A life of love is a life fulfilled.

What is love?

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Friends

Who is my friend?

The proof is through what they do and what they don't do.

The person who doesn't want justice for me.

The person who can't hear me when I cry.

The person who doesn't understand peace.

The person who is entitled.

The person who lets me starve.

The person who is okay with me living in fear.

The person who hits me.

The person who doesn't care if I live.

The person who doesn't see me because of my color, my gender, my ethnicity, my race, or my personal belief.

They are not my friend.

Who is my friend?

The person who speaks up against injustice.

The person who comforts me in my despair.

The person who doesn't make 'Drama' in my life.

The person who lets me go through a door first.

The person who shares their lunch with me.

The person who checks in with me to see if I'm okay.

The person who hugs me without asking.

The person whose life would be dimmer without me.

The person who celebrates my life, who I am, who doesn't need to change me.

They are my friend.

To be a friend is both the most tremendous responsibility as well as the simplest.

True friends may not see each other for decades, but when they come together, it's as if no time has passed.

This bond, this relationship, is the outward manifestation of an inward purpose.

That purpose dramatizes our actions and inactions with each other.

That purpose is the true meaning of love.

True love and true friendship don't mean no boundaries.

True love and true friendship mean that we consider each life, each person, an individual worthy of respect, consideration, life, and love.

Friendship ends when respect for boundaries is crossed.

Yet friendship is ever-growing and will continually change.

Friendship leaves open the door for redemption even up to the last second of life.

Friendship is symbolized by the open hand.

Is your hand open?

Open to those around you?

To the stranger?

To yourself?

Who are your friends?

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Indifference

Race haters believe they are the majority when they are not.

Who are the majority of people in the world?

It is the Indifferent.

The indifferent do not react the world over unless they are individually annoyed.

They will sit on their hands.

They will bind their feet.

They will blind their eyes.

They will tune out the noise.

They will box in their hearts.

They will shuffle their morality, which keeps them from any sense of responsibility.

Not until they are personally devastated will they take action.

Oddly enough, when annoyed, the Indifferent split almost down the middle on which side they will take up.

Vanilla versus chocolate.

Democrat versus Republican.

Just a tick less will become fascists as anti-fascists.

Indifference.

The Jewish genocide proved the power of the indifferent.

A nation, a world, the human race calmly sat by while millions of real people were put to death.

Their response was to do nothing.

Not in my backyard.

Until it was in their backyard, and their sons were killed at Pearl Harbor.

Not until then did we, as Americans, say we better put a stop to hate.

Indifference.

Charles Dickens wrote in A Christmas Carol how Father Christmas was warning Scrooge, the Indifferent, about Humanities' two children.

Want and Ignorance.

Want is the easier of his two children to care for.

Want needs, and once those needs are filled, hunger, shelter, comfort, free from fear; Want won't cause Humanity trouble.

Ignorance, however, will always be the root of evil.

Ignorance, both by accident and especially on purpose, is the cancer in the soul of humanity.

Ignorance will brush aside the milk of human kindness.

Ignorance only sees itself.

That is until they are personally annoyed as a consequence of its inaction.

To paraphrase MLK, he said he would rather deal with evil because you know where you stand.

Indifference will wait on time.

Putting off doing what's right.

Until time runs out.

That's the goal of indifference.

Doing nothing.

I'm also reminded of what that quiet voice keeps asking all of us.

Love reminds us that we all need to do more.

There are no alternatives.

There is no choice.

If you hear the voice of love, it asks us all to do.

To do right.

To do it now.

To do it without hesitation.

To stand, to clap, to raise our voice, and never be silent.

Silence is just as evil as hate.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby