Most of us try to put our best face forward, but that face may not be our real selves.
I wear a mask.
It is a mask that I have put together to protect myself.
I suffer from too much empathy.
Too much empathy is a type of handicap in this world.
Peoples emotions can flood into me.
The first mask I use to deflect emotions that can flood over me is to hum to myself.
If the anger increases, I'll sing a random song softly to myself.
At other times I put on the mask of humor.
My best shield, my preferred boundary.
I have used that mask ever since I can remember.
It's my oldest and favored.
That mask was developed to survive violence.
When you're raised in a home where violence, mainly random violence occurs, it turns out to be a good thing to keep your empathy at a frosty level of awareness.
Dad could switch on violent anger at the drop of a hat.
He could be laughing and joking at one moment, but one unpredictable remark or action could send him into an angry fit.
It sometimes it could be defused with a well-placed piece of observational humor.
Sometimes it could not, and the bloody beatings would follow.
I still do not do well around anger.
I don't run away.
I don't hide.
I've learned to face it.
The darkness of man…
However, uneasy it makes me.
Just like a monster in a nightmare, I have found that if you stare into the face of anger, you will see its source.
Tonight around the world, our nation, in our homes we are facing a nightmare.
The source material of this nightmare has been crafted from our own shared experience.
There are issues we as a people have not addressed because we are fearful.
Fear is a force.
Fear, if not confronted, will grow into a monster called anger.
The beast called anger stalks the streets of the American consciousness.
Anger leads to hate…
The fear in the world and our nation is real.
Many want to hide from the truth.
It is more fearful to look into the source of the anger than it is to project that anger at the innocent.
I'm sure my father had a problem that made him angry.
But like most humans, instead of addressing the problem head on it was easier to beat to a bloody pulp his kids.
They offered no resistance.
So you're saying most problems don't offer significant resistance?
No, the complete opposite.
That's why problems are a problem because they resist ordinary human effort.
Most problems take the extra mile, the extra effort, more will power than the average person is willing to expend to resolve.
The biggest problem we have in this Republic is "Race."
A nation founded on freedom yet kept slaves.
That is, by definition, hypocrisy.
A Constitution that says all men are free yet these over here are not.
The duality of mind…
To be human, by definition means you can keep two thoughts in your head that are in exact opposition to each other.
The war between the States never ended.
The battle to free men's hearts continues today.
Many wear the mask of civility, but in their hearts, they don't believe that all men are equal.
Behind these masks, a dark ocean of anger has swelled.
The finger of blame pointed at the innocent.
When the real source is never examined.
Where does this anger come from?
How do you tell a person they believe in a false God?
How do you tell a person they swallow a false story about themselves?
How do you help a person to understand that their problem is not outside of themselves?
Like an addict, they blame everyone but themselves for why they are on death's door.
The racist needs someone else to blame because to face the nightmare that they are to blame for their life is too much to bear.
Generation after generation scapegoat and blame their object of resentment never once looking into their own hearts, minds, and actions that they are the source of their unhappiness.
Masks only work for the short term.
No mask will save you from the beating.
The only way to save yourself is with the truth.
Be kind to yourself.
You are deserving of love.
Open your heart, your eyes and awaken from your night terror.
See that you are surrounded by a golden light.
That darkness that you are afraid of?
You only had your eyes shut.