Why I'm Not Grateful

Is the ocean grateful that the river runs into it?

Is the sky grateful for another cloud?

Is a lion grateful for the hunt?

Are you grateful to be able to vote?

What does it mean to be grateful?

To be grateful implies something was given to us.

Something that was not expected.

Something that we could not achieve on our own.

Something that goes beyond our expectations.

Is the bird grateful it can fly?

No.

It flies because it can.

It is expected.

It doesn’t owe anyone or anything for its rightful ability to take flight.

It’s what it does.

As humans, we should expect to be fed, have shelter, safety, justice, freedom, love.

These rights of life are not given.

These rights are part of the expectation of life.

Our rights as humans.

To be grateful implies these rights are given to us.

By who?

Show them to us!

This is the argument stated in the Declaration of Independence of why our founding fathers were not “grateful” to the King of England.

Since the foundations of civilization, men have corruptly manipulated the weak.

The most insidious is the evil that men do to the minds of the innocent.

The most hateful is the idea that we should be grateful to them.

Grateful that we are allowed to exist.

That’s the implication that is being driven home.

By whom?

By white racist men in the white racist world, in white racist pulpits, in white racist places of power.

They are not giving; they are selling.

They want us all to be grateful to them forever.

They want us to owe them for allowing us to exist.

They want us to be on credit until they say we are paid up.

They want us to be grateful that they allow us to have our sustenance, shelter, safety, justice, freedom, and even our love.

There is no end to this mortgage of suffering.

I get fired up when I’m asked to be grateful for the air I breathe.

I get fired up when I’m asked to be grateful I’m allowed justice.

I get fired up when I’m asked to be grateful I’m allowed to live.

If you want me to be grateful, give me something I don’t have on my own.

Give me an equal opportunity to work.

Give me financial credit.

Give me the freedom of the vote.

Give me respect.

See me.

Peace

DFrey

Original Fear

Children have a fear of the dark.

It is a rational fear to the child because they are still children.

The fear is born out of the belief that the world will change when the child closes their eyes.

A world that changes cannot be predicted.

Not being able to predict the future is an innate, fundamental fear response.

This fear is genuine for all of humanity.

To survive in a hostile environment, regularity, predictability allows for a relaxation of awareness.

Allows rest.

Allows sleep.

Removes fear.

That is why the parent puts on a little light in the child’s room.

This little light illuminates the room, the environment.

The child can peek out from their shut eyes and see the room is still the same.

Sameness allows rest.

Sameness allows sleep.

Removes fear.

That little bit of light of truth allows the child a space of comfort in a hostile world.

We, as the carriers of light, it is our privilege to hold up that little light of truth.

We hold that light of truth up in a hostile world.

That light seen by the fearful gives them comfort.

Gives rest.

Gives peace.

Removes fear.

DFrey

Peace

Possible

The rain falls.

The rain falls and gets everyone wet.

A yellow glow of light in a window tells you mom is still awake.

Drawings on the refrigerator.

A young man waiting in a car for a girl to come out.

My test results.

Possible.

Dad is angry.

Where is the money coming from this week?

He's on the wrong side of town.

God is angry.

God is silent.

Possible.

Will they care?

Will they listen?

Will they feel the things that I feel?

Possible.

The comfort that darkness brings is that it covers us up, so we don't have to be responsible.

We can't see the way things are.

We only see what we imagine.

The irresponsibility of comfort.

That's one of the discomforting realities of life in America.

Comfort shortens vision, curtails possibilities, and deadens responsibilities.

This past election, only slightly more than half of Americans were made uncomfortable.

Seventy million people were comfortable with darkness.

They were comfortable with the way things are, resentful, fearful of the way things could be.

Their comfort stopped them short in their journey of life.

They have stopped asking themselves what is possible.

None of us likes to admit when we are wrong.

It makes us uncomfortable.

Too many of us rely upon our own ego, which tells us that we can never be wrong.

We don't look at ourselves in the mirror and ask, "Who is that?"

We find ourselves at odds with the universe.

Impossible?

Justice is impossible.

Freedom is impossible.

Equality is impossible.

Love is impossible.

At the core of this impossible view of life, we will always find fear.

Fear of being wrong.

Fear of being right.

Fear of allowing ourselves to be happy.

Fear of being who we are.

Fear of sharing.

There are no magical words to stop this fear.

No magical incantation or phrase will turn our lives from darkness and seek the light.

For those of us who live in the light, all we can do is keep the door open.

Redemption is always possible.

It is as it has always been.

The world turns, and a new day comes.

The world stops for no people, no person, no government office.

Life lives; it does not bury itself alive.

We all want love and happiness. 

I know I'm not the only one…

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Home

Home is where you are, not where you're going to be.

Where are you today?

Are you on your way to work?

On your way to the refrigerator?

On your way to despair?

To hope?

Everyone is seeking meaning.

Meaning of life.

Meaning to sadness.

Meaning to circumstance.

Home is where you are.

What does that mean?

Ideas are given power by the people who believe them to be true.

The idea of home, for many, is an external dwelling.

A place where four walls come together under one roof.

Yet whether you own a home or want a home, you can only rent that home.

All of our lives are a trek from one home to another.

We don't own it.

We are only caretakers.

The current occupant.

Renters.

Life.

Home is where you are, which means you are home.

You are home already, right now, this very second.

Where you are, so is your home.

You are the precious dwelling of the infinite.

Your life is the meaning of home.

Wherever you are, there will also be life.

Where are you going?

If you are looking for happiness, a home outside of yourself, what are you looking for?

Unless and until you are happy within yourself, you will never find contentment outside of yourself.

Life is the journey, not the destination.

Life is now.

Life is in you now.

Your life is in your home, which is you.

But our lives are not tied to the ground.

All of our lives are mobile.

Each person is in their own recreational vehicle, traversing the world.

Each is gaining experience and building a collection of memories.

A scrapbook.

Where are you taking your home?

What is your destination?

Are you ignoring the signs on the road?

Are you drowning out the sounds in the streets calling for justice?

Have you pulled the curtains so that you don't have to see children caged?

Have you put up a fence to keep the neighbors off of your property?

If you have, you have forgotten you're a renter like the rest of us.

You're a renter.

We are all given only so much time in this world.

It is up to each of us to do our best with the time we have.

Not to waste our home.

Our life.

Our time.

Our responsibility to each other.

Our love.

On November 3, we have a responsibility to ourselves and our neighbors.

Vote to save our democracy.

Vote to save your home.

Vote for peace.

Vote for love over hate.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Wait

The sun at dawn.

That coffee in the pot.

A red light.

Wait.

In line for a meal.

In line for a job.

In line to vote.

Wait.

To be seen.

To be recognized.

To be respected.

Wait.

Freedom.

Equality.

Justice.

Peace.

Wait.

It's easy to sit back and not do anything when you have everything.

It's easy to dismiss the tears, the fears, the anguish of people not like you.

It's easy to live in fear of change.

It's easy not to see, not to hear, not to feel when doing so means sharing this world.

It's easy to do nothing.

It's easy to tell others to wait when you are in power.

It's easy to wait.

Wait.

Why should we wait?

This nation of ours has wrestled and fought over the timetable of freedom that it laid down in its foundational documents.

It has fought every step of the way to allow those words of freedom to ring true.

All are created equal...

You would think that a People whose credo is freedom for all would be cheerful and grant this to be true.

Yet here we are today in the first part of the 21st century in America, and a good 40% of Americans do not agree with the Constitution.

My freedom is more important than your freedom.

If you have to have freedom, I'll do away with my freedom before I allow you any of mine.

My power is sanctified; I will not share my abundance with you, the takers.

It's bizarre that a People who declare themselves defenders of liberty and justice only mean themselves.

No one else need apply.

Wait?

No, we ain't waiting anymore.

The Freedom Train is pulling out of the station.

We've got a few more weeks until this election, and we're moving on.

Freedom won't wait.

Freedom, like a falling rain, will change with the season.

In the Winter, it will fall like snow, slow and beautiful.

During the Spring, it was long and drenching.

In the summer, hot and fast, the thunder rolls across the hills and echoes in the valleys.

There is no need to wait.

Everyone has a ticket to get on the Freedom Train.

It's up to each of us to get on board or not.

To get your ticket punched, all you have to do is vote.

Don't wait.

Vote.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

How

How do we help the blind see?

How to help the deaf hear?

How do you help the numb feel?

Obligation.

How can I help?

How can I matter?

How can I walk the walk?

Compassion.

How to run?

How to reach?

How to be hope?

Love.

The acid that will dissolve any democracy is willful ignorance combined with intolerance.

Willful ignorance is defined as the choice to ignore reality.

A preference, a choice, not a mistake.

Willful ignorance is tied spiritually to entitlement.

I am owed, I deserve, I’m next in line, I will take at the expense of others.

Consequences are not for me.

Consequences are only for those who are unfit, unworthy, on the other side…

Willful ignorance, intolerance, and entitlement are walls of fear built by humans.

They are high, they are thick, they are not fragile.

Many have tried to attack these walls directly, but always with no effect.

You may win a battle, but not the war.

Not only will the individual rebuild these walls, but the community that they protect will assist.

People who live protected behind the walls of willful ignorance, intolerance, and entitlement are numb to voices in the streets.

They are numb to the images of despair.

They are numb to the feelings of loss.

How do you reach them?

Why would you want to reach them?

Really?

Why?

Haven’t they placed themselves above humanity?

Haven’t they walled themselves off from human kindness?

Haven’t they buried themselves in the dirt like the living dead?

Yes, they have.

Fear will always have the potential to make all of us do bad things.

For those who have been given much, much is expected.

If you know how to swim and someone is drowning, love says save that person.

If you know how to stand and someone has fallen, love says help them up.

If you know the truth and someone has lied, love says speak up.

Someone has to be the adult in the room.

We are not here to save those who are already safe.

If you are reading my words, more than likely, you are in the choir of hope.

To round out our choir, we need all the voices of the earth.

That’s why we care.

That’s why we fight.

That’s why we sing.

We are not afraid of the fight for justice.

We will stand outside the walls of willful ignorance, intolerance, and entitlement, calling to our brothers and sisters to join us in a beautiful land.

There is redemption

You can begin again.

A land where fear has its place.

A land where love leads the way.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Legacy of Fear

You were not born to be a monster.

You are not a creation of evil.

You do not have to pledge your life to cruelty.

There is no requirement to carry on a legacy of fear.

Trust is earned.

Trust should never be given to tyrants.

Tyrants come in many forms.

There are those in history.

Hitler, Stalin, Mao…

There are those in our neighborhood.

The old person who won't allow children to play in their yard.

The manager who won't report workplace harassment.

The elected leader who only cares for themselves and not for the community they were elected to serve.

Then, some live in our personal circle.

Fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, nieces.

Friends.

We all know them.

People who treat others like dirt.

That uncle, who is referred to as being that way…

Everyone knows not to cross them.

They are the soldiers who carry on a legacy of fear.

Everyone enjoys their stories.

Their superficial charm.

But no one doubts that those who know them know that if they believe they are right and you are wrong, you will never change the outcome.

They are damaged people.

Broken.

Broken and reformed into spirits that are blind to empathy.

Just as a person who is born blind has no knowledge or understanding of what color is.

They don't know despair, fear, sorrow, happiness, or love.

They can only, to the best of their intellectual capacity, imitate human emotions.

These people rise in power…

Always.

They don't let anything or anyone get in their way.

We allow these people to be our elected leaders.

We falsely believe they are strong.

Have courage.

Are leaders.

Our clergy.

Our police.

Our leaders of organized crime.

They are all of a kind.

They distribute a legacy.

A regime of fear.

They learned the lesson of fear from those they respected.

Those that they feared.

Not understanding that fear is the foundation of evil in the world.

It is the cornerstone upon which hate builds the temple of racism.

We who have not submitted to their stories, their bullying, must expose them.

Their stories of how the world works, who is on top, who is on the bottom, cannot stand against the light of truth and of love.

Love trumps hate.

Love trumps fear.

Don't ask someone for help who cannot see that you are drowning.

We cannot ask of this President for assistance.

He and his supplicants cannot give what they don't have.

Rocks don't bleed.

We all need to take responsibility, rise up to the challenge, and vote into office leaders who can see.

Who can hear?

Who can feel?

If we are ever to have good things on this earth.

For everyone.

Peace.

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

What You See?

Look over there.  

What you see?  

A woman is walking a dog.  

There is a Starbucks cup on the tree lawn.  

It’s cloudy today.  

Look over there.  

What you see?  

A young black woman is playing with a Hispanic child.  

There’s a delivery at the door.  

A cop grins because he killed some guy.  

Look over there.  

What you see?  

Congress deaf, dumb, and blind.  

Senate deaf, dumb, and blind.  

President mocks humanity. 

Look over there.  

What you see.  

I see fear held so long that it has burned out compassion. 

I see hate so deep that there’s no turning back.  

I see change coming.

Change coming.

A child yells.  

A mother weeps.  

A daddy lost.  

A dream destroyed.  

Look over there.  

What you see?  

Through tears, I see truth setting minds free.  

Through tears, I see justice push back.  

Through tears, I see our hope is here.  

See it?  

It’s right in front of you.  

It’s you.  

You will remake the world.

You.  

You are our hope.  

What you see?  

Peace  

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

The Dark Waters Roll

This is a moral check-up…

How are you doing?

How is the nation doing?

We all find ourselves being asked what our response to injustice is.

Not too long ago, we believed our nation had a moral awakening…

A generation was asked to stop discrimination and segregation and realize that everyone is created equal.

We didn't know what we were asking…

We were pushing for an answer we didn't want.

By asking the question, its aim was to address a long-standing cancer of the American experiment.

For every action, there is a reaction.

Humanity doesn't respond instantly to change.

The reaction came decades later, at the end of segregation and the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

The reaction?

Recently, we elected an immoral President.

He broke the dam, and all the dark waters that our nation had hidden from consciousness since 1964 have flooded back into everyone's lives.

Reminding us that the dirt on our souls cannot be hidden forever.

This first monster of our own creation was unleashed once again.

Brown children put in cages to destroy the American dream of freedom.

Our legislative House and Senate turn their backs on executive corruption so that they can pack the courts to end women's right to privacy.

Promises of a return to an all-white America where jobs are aplenty for the white land owner, the money piled high, and all that equality BS buried…

Dead.

Dead and buried and good riddance.

Communists!

The conservative, less government, fiscally responsible, Constitutional purist Republican Party led over a cliff by a sociopathic, day-trading, pied piper.

Our intelligence services mocked, and admonitions of collusion with America's enemies, Russia, were ignored.

Everyone can be bought.

You just have to find what they want.

Our President betrays his oath to the Constitution and is impeached.

Yet our courage to stand for justice has run away and hidden behind indifference to truth for political gain. 

This President was not removed.

The dark waters roll…

The dark waters roll...

A plague is unleashed.

One person's nightmare is another person's free lunch.

The virus, like the American President, doesn't know what empathy is.

The virus rolls across the world, piling bodies with a casual efficiency.

As it makes its way across America, we become them.

Them.

Prejudice feeds upon lies that support its belief.

The virus is only a problem for the old, the brown, the black, not white male America-loving Capitalists.

Magical thinking believes that a death toll of 100,000 is the limit and can't it wouldn't go higher.

Can it?

The bodies pile up.

The dark waters roll…

George Floyd was killed by four Minneapolis Police officers in full view, fully recorded.

The third leg of this American sickness steps down onto all our necks.

We are told we didn't see what we saw.

The third monster is unleashed.

The original sin.

The hole in the heart of the Great American Experiment.

Racism.

Mr. Floyd had no idea that day, when he woke up, that he was going to light a nation's sense of justice a fire.

Like so many heroes, he was at the wrong place at the right time.

His life was stolen from him.

Those who murdered him did not understand what they were doing.

They lit the watchfires of our democracy.

From hill to hill.

From the valley to the plain.

From the mountaintop to the ocean, the call went out that our democracy was in danger.

No person's life is in vain.

No one.

George Floyd made a difference in the world.

I wonder what he's thinking about as the world stands up in his name? The call for justice?

The dark waters roll…

The flood has not abated.

We are afloat, you and I, in this uncertain place and time.

I want to give you hope.

For the first time, there are enough of us to row this lifeboat to that blessed shore.

The world hears the cry, "I can't breathe."

We can row this boat ashore.

Our captain is justice.

This dark tide will yell and scream, but it can't stop the journey of the light.

We can all bring justice once and for all.

For all.

We will answer that question posed over 200 years ago.

For once in its entire history, will the many become one?

Listen…

Look...

The waters part, and in the middle walk a free people under the light of justice.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Us Became Them

Not so long ago, COVID-19 was seen as a crisis facing the world.

Today, in America, it is not a problem.

We marched over the dead to a hundred thousand and will continue to ignore the hundreds of thousands that will come in the weeks and months ahead.

The virus is only a problem for the marginalized, the ignored, the takers.

Them.

They

Those.

Why is that?

America sees everything through Race.

The cancer of slavery in this nation burned out the eyes, ears, hearts, and minds of white Americans.

Left and right.

Rich and poor.

Male and female.

Like an open, infected wound, it has burned through the long night since 1864.

The smell of racism lingers in the air like fresh-popped corn.

America cannot do anything without first asking whether it will benefit the minorities.

Minorities in white America are everyone who is not white.

All others need not apply.

The racial animus, the hatred, and the focus on who caused economic poverty in white racist America is on blacks.

This virus has become a convenient scapegoat for our racist leadership at the local and federal governments and law enforcement.

An easy excuse to do nothing to help and protect.

When COVID was a plague that could be caught by anyone, it was something to take action upon.

But, as soon as the media reported that Black America was incredibly hard hit with the loss of life, racist America realized they had a genocidal blue light special.

COVID provided a way to decrease those on welfare.

COVID-19 provided a way to eliminate those pension checks.

COVID provided a solution to decrease those sucking federal dollars through Social Security.

The bonus was that it was hitting black and brown communities the hardest.

Or so white racist America believes…

Or so white racist America believes…

Prejudice feeds upon stories that support it.

You, as an individual, may like donuts.

If you hear of a study that says donuts are good for you, even if it’s not true, you’ll smile and be confirmed in your prejudice.

Humanity has told stories to each other, especially when drunk, that support their worldview.

Humanity tends to dismiss those stories that do not fit into the world order that they believe is true.

The virus has a story it will tell.

COVID-19 is not the flu; it is not a cold.

It is a virus that will burn its way through the population of the Earth until everyone has been infected.

In three months, only 5% of the American population has been exposed to the virus.

In three months, we went from zero dead to over 101,000.

If the past is prologue, then by the time the remaining 95% of America is infected, 1.5 million lives will have been lost.

That is the foreword of the COVID-19 story.

What is the story of those who lived during this time of COVID?

There will be black faces, brown faces, white faces, and Asian faces.

All those faces that can no longer tell their story.

Their hopes.

Their dreams.

Gone.

The reason why they were born was cut short because of the careless nature of humanity.

This is the carelessness of not valuing one human life.

Humanity has never been able to learn on its own.

Humanity has always had to fall and hit bottom before it can turn and lift itself up.

Humanity remains clueless.

The story of America is a racial one.

Can people of many nations, many creeds, and many races live together?

Trust one another?

Care for one another?

Learn to love one another?

This virus will remind us that love asks more of us each and every day.

We are all brothers and sisters in a good fight today.

We may lose a battle, but justice is on our side; we will not lose the war.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

A Time Not Seen

The day you were born.

Your first steps.

The moment when you saw the sky.

A time not seen.

The War of Independence.

The war between the states.

The war for human rights.

A time not seen.

Before smartphones.

Before telephone poles.

Before the telegraph wire.

A time not seen.

The edge of the universe.

The edge of our solar system.

The edge of despair in the human heart.

A time not seen.

Like a toddler new to the world, America is about to take a step into the future.

It would appear reason and ignorance are evenly balanced.

The balance point is the virus.

Science and its companion medicine shout out warnings to step back.

This country has seen death before.

But not at the hands of such a merciless God as this virus.

It laughs at a few hundred thousand.

The grim skull of the virus will not be complete until it takes millions of lives from coast to coast.

Too many want to step off the cliff to see what happens.

If only those who want to tempt fate were the ones to lose their lives.

You cannot stop a fool from shooting their own foot off.

However, the determination of those who want to ignore reality is committing a kind of social suicide.

They don't want to go alone.

They're not going without taking us with them.

Their hatred of government, laws, restrictions, minorities, and women spurs them over the cliff like lemmings.

The jaws of the virus feed at the bucket of the prejudiced.

What makes America worse at handling this global crisis?

Racism.

Both ethnic and economic.

A time is rapidly approaching that has not been seen.

Unless and until there is an effective vaccine, the virus will mount bodies to the sky.

This country has not seen a million people perish in one crisis.

Other nations have.

Other nations came out on the other side.

Different.

Matured.

They came to understand the value of one human life.

We, as a nation, have not learned that lesson.

This nation is falling and does not recognize its descent.

Let us change the trajectory.

Let us challenge the fear.

Let us make this a time not seen.

A time where compassion is our guide.

A time when hope is the arm that comforts us.

A time when love asks each of us to do more each and every day.

Let us, please, see that too many have died.

Do something now.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Fear

Where does fear come from?  

Children are afraid of the dark.  

What lurks out in the space unseen, unknown, unfelt, unplanned for?  

But is fear a thing? 

Is it something that can be touched?  

Is it a monster under the bed?  

Is it an entity that roams and attacks us without warning?  

Or is it something inside of us?  

Is it something we tell ourselves?  

Specifically, is fear about us and not about fear itself?  

There are, of course, many things to fear.  

Spiders.  

Paper cuts.  

Snakes.  

Auto accidents.  

Plane flight.  

Job loss. 

Illness. 

Death.  

These are all things that, in their specific ways, can stop our plans.  

They are real fears.

But is that what fear is really?  

Is fear a reaction to a force that has changed our schedule?  

The COVID virus.  

This virus has changed the plans of everyone on the planet.  

It is about what viruses do; they spread and multiply.  

Our deaths are not its purpose.  

Killing off its host is not suitable for any host in the long run because it doesn't allow it to succeed.

To pass on its legacy.

Its genes. 

It wants cooperation so it can live.  

Fear. 

Our plans changed.  

Those who deny the science are living in fear of the truth.  

Their non-cooperation with social distancing and wearing a mask is couched behind a veil of personal freedom.

A mask.

Our brothers and sisters are afraid of the virus and believe spitting in the face of reason will allow them to dodge the Grim Reaper.  

Their fear allows them to take no responsibility for the despair and the death they will cause.  

Ultimately, fear is a scapegoat that creates a narrative of denial of personal responsibility to the community and self.

They are whistling past the graveyard.

Who is the conductor of the tune?  

The Devil made me do it.  

The virus needs no help to kill.  

But those who need our help are those who live in fear.

Fear is a mask.  

America is going to live through a time that it has never seen before.  Simple algebra can demonstrate real fear.  

As the statistics demonstrate, only 5% of the US population has been exposed to the virus, with 85K deaths.  

What happens when there is no vaccine and 100% of the population is exposed?

How many people will have perished?  

North of 1.5 million Americans.  

That's the number the CDC has been gagged from telling.  

That's the human tragedy that's being kept from the airwaves.  

That is a real fear.  

Yet fear can stimulate courage.  

Fear can grow purpose.  

Fear can challenge a people and a person to do what is right.  

Without fear, we wouldn't know what love is.  

Love will see all of us through this time.  

Love will brush aside the terror of the night to reveal the truth of the day.  

See those who are living in fear and give them hope by your example.  

Wear your mask with pride, knowing you're saving others' lives, not just your own.  

It is only through looking out for each other that we will get to our joy together.  

Darkness is the nature of the universe; each of us is a light in that eternal night, which is why we each have an obligation to tend to that light called hope.  

The moon, silent, went on a stroll between the stars, and when it looked down on the earth there, it saw even more stars all the same above and below.  

Peace.  

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Angels

I have seen them on the Earth.

As an orderly for five years.

As the son of an RN, Elaine Frey.

As the husband of RN Denny Frey, she cares for her patients in the ICU.

I have seen angels on the Earth.

I have seen nurses wipe the bloody wounds clean.

Watched as they laughed about a daytime TV show.

Heard them cry after the patient's family had left the bedside of their loved one who had passed.

I watched as they prepared a meal after a long day at work.

Listened to them tell a doctor to pay attention to their patient who is in need.

I felt cared for when I was sick, told to take my medicine, and forced to drink fluids.

Brotherhood, as they helped me prepare the bodies of those who had passed to take to the morgue.

A team, while the nurses hung IV meds, wrote quick nurses' notes, bagged the patient, and I did the CPR.

Sitting down after a long night to have a donut, but they're all gone.

The Doctors ate them.

Saw them wheel a female patient in a wheelchair up to OBGYN; it's their first baby.

Was there as they filled out the patients' chart?

Was there as they took the call from the attending physician?

Assisted in holding the patient while they cleaned and washed those who had soiled themselves.

Was there when it was their first day on the job?

Was there when it was their last day.

Angels.

They were there when they retired.

There when they put their feet up.

The hands of a nurse are a contradiction.

They are strong and able to turn 300-pound patients.

They are rough and cracked from years of constant washing.

They are also filled with an unbounded understanding of the true meaning of love.

Love never asks for less.

Love asks all of us to do more than expected.

Angels do more than expected.

The crisis of a generation is upon us all.

We are all grateful that we are not alone in this world to face it.

There are angels there to catch us should we stumble.

Catch us as we fall.

Angels who bring the light of hope.

Thank you.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

The Elephant in the Room

People are dying because conservatives do not believe in the federal government.

People are dying because they believe in the conservative idea of the individual free from interference from the State.

People are dying because of their conservative faith.

The Republican Party has died, and like a dead elephant in a river, the sickness is spreading downstream, devouring anyone who drinks from that water.

The argument is as old as the country: States' rights versus federal.

From Nixon to Mitch McConnell, from Paul Harvey to Rush Limbaugh, the hatred and doctrine of killing off the federal government have been preached through the decades.

This conservative movement within the Republican Party has had it with our Republic.

They have preached Nationalism, white Nationalism, where white men rule, and all others need not apply.

They no longer will tolerate women as being equal, or blacks, or browns, or Asians, or gays, or anyone not a white Anglo-Saxon male.

To that end, people like Newt Gingrich got the idea that they could slowly starve to death the federal government.

They could slowly weaken it to the point where they could throw the government into a bathtub and drown it.

Their words.

They could restore the proper order of the world.

Their white male God and then his agents here on earth, the white male businessman.

They have preached the ideal of the independent man.

The rugged individual.

A person who does not need any assistance from the government or others.

The self-made man.

This whole conservative mindset of killing off the federal government is based upon the real personality disorder that these individuals all share.

It's sociopathic.

It's only about me and my needs and to hell with you.

This sociopathic mindset is found in conservative circles, on Wall Street, in corporations, and in traditional religious faiths here and around the world.

Either our way or the highway.

Kill them all, and let God sort them out.

Their words.

As of today, it is apparent that 2020 has been canceled.

There is a viral tiger in our streets.

It has been made manifestly worse by this stand-it-alone, profit is king, screw the weak doctrine.

Blatant profiteering is taking place by friends of this President.

Yet, the universe has a sense of dark irony that the mind, which focuses only on itself, cannot, will not see.

Those who work together will survive.

Those who cooperate will thrive.

Those who share will prosper.

Those who partake in the beloved community will see the future.

Those who believe themselves immune to death because of their individualism, their isolation from the community, and their hatred of the federal government will find that Tiger will not pass by their door.

Mortality is the great equalizer.

There is nothing sadder than a life lived alone.

We come together to share life and to have more of it.

Peace.

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

A Quiet

When dreams are lost to reality.  

When day becomes night.  

When anger transforms into action. 

A quiet comes down.  

As the reality of this virus impinges on our lives.  

As the reality of leadership is met, while others fail.  

As the reality of mortality looks each of us square in the face. 

A quiet comes down.  

A quiet comes down.  

In this time of quiet, things that were once obscured become clear.  

The warmth of hot coffee.  

The warmth of friends' laughter.  

The warmth of love passed.  

Love present.  

A quiet comes down.

A quiet comes down.  

Days turn into starry nights.  

Days turn into loud, defiant voices.  

Days turn into the face of the moon.  

Tomorrow comes.  

A quiet comes down.  

Together we can find a quiet place.  

Together, our compassion will get us through this year of pain.  

Together, united in a bond that transcends all of time and distance.

We call love…  

When I am scared and alone.  

And the world has turned cold and gray.  

I think of the beautiful faces of my friends.  

I am not alone anymore.  

A quiet comes down.

A quiet comes down.  

Peace  

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Where We Stand

Right and wrong.

Right and left.

Right and doing nothing.

Right, and being alone.

Right is right.

What are the consequences of doing right?

It takes energy to do what is right as much as it takes to do what is wrong.

For the most part, most of us like to stand in the gray area.

That place in-between where we don't have to react.

We don't have to lift a finger.

We don't have to have any anxiety.

We don't have to fear if we are right or wrong.

The silent majority.

We can be left alone.

A truth.

To set a standard and to declare what is right versus what is wrong ultimately will shine the spotlight of scorn and ridicule upon you.

Why?

Do you know the old adage about the crabs in a barrel?

One of the crabs wanted to know what was outside of its world.

What was outside of the barrel that all of the other crabs were trapped in?

There were tales of the great beyond where everything you ever wanted came true.

There were also tales of monsters of dark creatures that would devour you.

This crab decided to crawl out despite being warned that it would be dangerous, as its fellow crabs had advised against it.

Well, just as the crab started to crawl out, the other crabs grabbed hold of it and pulled it back into the barrel.

Ultimately, they all found themselves on that night's menu.

They made their own worst fears come true.

They did nothing.

Doing what's right makes people angry.

Why?

It forces a spotlight upon their own lives, revealing their apathy.

Their nihilism.

Their unwillingness to put out the fire.

They don't want that hot light upon them to say what is right because they don't want to face the possibility that they might be wrong.

Even in the face of certitude, what is obviously the right thing to do.

If a child is sexually attacked, the person obfuscates and pretends they don't actually see.

They don't understand why they have a responsibility to step in and stop it.

Christians have a misinterpretation of the biblical passage of not judging others.

All recorded civilizations and societies have had a sense of morality.

What is right and what is wrong.

If judging were wrong, there would be no courts and no one in prison for theft, rape, or murder.

Anarchy would rule.

Taking a stand throughout the history of humankind against what is wrong has placed obvious targets upon these individuals who did.

But let's bring it down to everyday living?

The next time you're at dinner with your family and your uncle makes a racist joke, do you call them out on it?

When you're on the bus, and your bag is sitting on the seat next to you, do you pick it up so that the stranger can have a seat?

When you see a cop beating up on a guy, do you call for restraint?

You can see that your congressional district is gerrymandered.

Do you call out your politicians to make it fair for all voters?

If you know a neighbor is alone during this time of the pandemic, do you check in with them to see if they need anything?

These are a few examples of doing the right thing in everyday life.

They may be easy for you, difficult for others.

Doing the right thing will always bring about consequences.

For every action, there is a reaction.

Doing the right thing in the face of wrong, doing the right thing ultimately in the face of evil, will leave you in an empty space.

Separated from the crowd.

I've personally found myself many times in that lonely space.

Most days, I feel like I stand at the edge of an abyss, calling out but hearing nothing coming back.

I recognize it is a tired world we all live in.

Now, we are more separated because of this health crisis.

The effort to do what is right is neglected by many.

Given lip service by most.

The darkness of the world is borne by a few.

As Mark Twain said, "Wages of doing what is right versus what is wrong is the same."

Most of what we do on this journey called life will never be recognized or appreciated beyond our own recollection of events.

Our good works will be buried with us.

However…

Count me as standing against evil till the end of time.

Standing against the wicked.

Standing against the corrupt.

A warrior for the light.

Giving comfort to the tired, the lonely, the sick.

For it is only in that blessed light that, once shown into darkness, can it release the enslavement of man's mind to the shackles of other people's tyranny.

We are bound together.

Peace

Daniel J Frey aka Toby

Where Is Love

Oliver Twist in the musical Oliver laments and prays about the whereabouts of love while he's locked in the basement of a funeral parlor where he's an indentured servant.

This scene is no allegory.

There are no hidden meanings here.

He's trapped in a dark world where the light of love refuses to shine for him.

I want to ask the same question, where is love?

A lot of us think we know what it means.

We believe we have it, want it, can express it, and know when it's being shown towards us.

But knowing the definition doesn't mean we can actually do it.

I know the definition of a pole-vaulter, but if I attempted an even modest leap, my lack of understanding of its meaning would result in a spectacular YouTube-worthy fail.

I have no experience or success at pole vaulting.

Love is an ideal that many attempt, but few will be able to stick the landing.

However, you can find a few gold medal winners Mother Teresa, Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, Lao Tzu…

Strong voices of love are not only in the past.

You can find among all of us strong hearts who can lead a workout class in love.

Love is the hardest emotion to understand with the intellect; it defies logic because it's the language of the soul, the song of the heart.

We're all tone-deaf; we can't hear the melody or the lyric.

Like Oliver, we're all locked in a dark world that mistreats us, batters our souls misshapes our perceptions, ignites anger, walls out understanding, and whispers lies telling us we're misunderstood, alone, unwanted.

We cannot tell the difference between the noise of fear and the soft whisper of love.

Be the answer to Oliver's prayer.

Act with love.

Do it today.

Please do it for yourself first.

If you can't forgive yourself, you can't forgive others.

To love the world begins by loving yourself.

Peace.

Daniel J Frey aka Toby